What it is all about...

Forgive the silence of the last few days. I'm still a very grateful person, honest, but have been dealing with some "issues" and not fit for blogging.

However today I went to see the wee man in his nativity play (or nativily play as he insisted on calling it) and I'm so full of Christmas spirit I have to share. The boy - obviously not taking after either me or his daddy - had to sing a solo in his very important role of the Angel Gabriel.

Having delivered his line with great sincerity and a strong voice (despite being sick and awake half the night coughing like a madd'un) he sang his solo beautifully - bringing a tear to my eye and making my heart just about burst out of my chest with pride.

You always love your children - I think - but there are times when you truly adore them and it takes your breath away.

In a twist of fate..

I couldn't sleep last night. That'll teach me for writing about my bed and how much I love it!
I took til gone 12 to drop off and was awake again at 4. You can imagine how delightful I look today at my desk!
But still this is supposed to be the spirit of gratefulness. Well today I'm grateful for the fact that is now just 3 months til this baby this due. Despite being just over 27 weeks gone, I just hit the 6 month mark today (Baby is due March 9).
I'm officially in my third trimester and on the home straight. I'm sure it won't be plain sailing from here on in - it hasn't been so far - but I am closer to meeting our new edition and bringing her into our family.
It is sometimes hard, when things have been so physically and emotionally demanding, to remember that there is a pot of gold at the end of this all. There are times when I can't see past the next few days or hours - but at the end of it all I will have a beautiful baby girl. She will complete our family, be a daughter to my husband, a sister to my son and hopefully a lifelong friend to me.
I marvelled last night as I made up Joseph's packed lunch at how quick children grow up. He was standing beside me, chatting all the time and exerting his gorgeously bubbly personality and I thought "Oh my God, I'm going to experience this all over again with a new human being soon".
So I'm grateful today for my baby - I probably don't say that half enough.

Gratefulness - the little things

Sometimes you don't have to look for the big things to make you happy. Today I'm grateful for my bed - and for a return enough to health that I don't have to spend the day there.
I'm back at work today - so far, so good. No puking in the loos, mad panic attacks or bursts of uncontrollable hormonally driven crying. But I am tired - vay tired - and can't deny I'm looking forward to home time.
By which stage I will gratefully crawl into my bed as soon as the boy has gone to his and curl up for a big sleep.
There is nothing as blissful as a comfy bed when you are bone tired and feeling a little fragile.

In the arms of the angels

Yesterday I booked myself a Reiki session as a treat. It's been a long time since I had Reiki and I always have found it to be a very peaceful and emotional experience.
Feeling a little bruised and battered lately it was the perfect antidote to my current circumstances.
I was offered the choice between traditional Reiki and Angel Reiki - now whether or not you believe in the power or existance of angels is one thing but having previously had a few sessions of angel healing for a feature article I was writing I was willing to give it a go.
The lovely lady guided me through the session -picking up on my key stress points and worries and channelling messages to me about how I need to relax more and go with the flow.
My life is going through changes at the moment and I'm not one to cope well with change. Even if, like this baby, that change is something I very much desire. I've been waking in the middle of the night thinking we are off our head to change from the status quo and wondering how we will divide our time/money/ affection to another human being (and one who will be very demanding at first).
The key message I got from my session was that just because I don't know where my journey is going right now (and I don't - I face uncertainty in a lot of aspects of my life) that does not mean I won't be safe when I reach my destination. So I'm to trust in myself that I will get there and I will be happy. The control freak in me doesn't like leaving things to chance, but this is what I need to do. Keep doing what I can - and not trying to do too much - and trust that things will be okay.
So today's gratefulness post is about just that - trusting that it will be okay and being grateful for what I have now not what I could or couldn't have in the future.

The gratefulness month

In the spirit of last night's post, and in the spirit of trying to bring some joy into these hard times I've decided that December will be the gratefulness month. Regardless of whether it kills me or not I will endeavour to post every day about something which makes me happy.

Today, it is the lovely new cover I received for the mass market paper back of Feels Like Maybe (which I think is due out in June-ish time). It's a very pretty purple colour and has a lovely quote on the front from one of the good reviews.

Again I'm very lucky to be in a position where people read what I write - fair enough they don't always like it - but all the same I know how tough the industry is and it is nice to be able to make a contribution.

A lovely award

I got this today from the lovely BFS blog and the best bit about it is that I have to list six things I value the most and then spread some love around.


Given that I'm trying to be very positive minded at the moment and not always getting there this is a great challenge and honour for me.

So here goes,,,

1. I value my friends. I have the best friends a girl could ask for - friends who would walk over hot coals for me. Friends who inspire me. Friends who are there on the other end of the phone or email if I need a laugh, or a cry, or a chat or just to say some bad words. Some of these friends I've been blessed to make in adulthood which I do think is amazing as adulthood doesn't often bring true friendship.
2. My family - that includes my husband, son and unborn baby daughter of course. They keep me grounded and make me feel cherished. (Well madam doesn't so much make me feel cherished as make me feel sick - but she is bringing me a lifetime's ambition and making me the mother of a little girl.) As for the boy - he is my light and my soul. Also in the family connection are my parents and my siblings. I honestly struck gold.
3. My job - which allows me a degree of creativity but also office banter that hilarious, witty and mostly non-repeatable. Without the opportunities afforded to me in my work place I don't think I would have found the courage to write books.
4. Which brings me on to my talent. Now when I was wee we were told pride was a sin and that we weren't to boast of our talents. Now I don't think I'm any literary giant, but I write books people respond nicely too and that is a great, great honour.
5. Which links me on to the lovely people at Poolbeg - the most supportive publishing house in the industry. I could never have dreamed of a top ten bestseller without their hard work.
6. And finally - my house - messy and all as it is, for it provides me shelter and comfort when the outside world seems too much.

Now - I have to share the love - so the awards go to...

Fionnuala at Talksville - Population One

The fabulous Keris Stainton

Emily at Doing the Compossible

Sharon Owens (Okay so not technically a Blog... but she updates regularly).