Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm a human being

Sometimes during this merry dance (read that as waddle) of pregnancy you get the urge to stand up, all Elephant Man style and announce that you are still a human being.
Yes, you are also a mum to be. You are, for all intents and purposes, a host or an incubator for a new life and boy do we women know it. From the moment the second line appears on that testing stick your life changes. Out goes the wine and the Nurofen (I miss wine and I REALLY miss nurofen). If you are stressed you are supposed to channel love and light - not mild anti-psychotics and if you are poorly sick you are allowed two paracetamol on an occasional basis.
Another reward for this pregnancy melarky is acid reflux and the treatment that is Gaviscon. What kind of medieval torturous mind came up with that sick in a bottle?

It is hard, therefore, just sometimes not to want to scream that you are in there and you matter too. And you want a nurofen and a handful of peanuts and to be treated as an individual not just someone's mammy to be. At every turn of this pregnancy I've been advised to "think of baby" and much as I know baby is a defenceless little creature who needs me to wear my sensible hat there is a part of me - a selfish part of me - which wants to think of me.

Yesterday I had an appointment at the hospital and for the first time in this pregnancy I was treated like me - just me. While doling out advice the lovely consultant I was speaking to said that while baby was obviously very important his main concern was me and my health - healthy mammy works well to make healthy baby.

I wanted to kiss him (no tongues, just on the cheek) and thank him for thinking of me first for making me feel like more than a host or an incubator which in turn does actually make me appreciate "baby" all the more.


Fionnuala said...

As someone who shared your type of pregnancy, I understand completely. I remember once feeling totally fed up, spots, hair falling out, the size of an average semi detached and comoing across a doctor with he bedside manner of Atilla the Hun. I left in tears and made my husband come to the next ante natal appt with me. Bloody hormones, and hyperemisis thingy and sore boe around the groin thingy. All I can say is it was worth it all. My daughters are a delight. But I have also to say that during my second and worst pregnancy....I made up my mind NEVER to put myself through another nine months like it and I stuck to it. Fx

PS I'm not on here really. Lurking, loitering with no nano intent on blogland....

Claire said...

I see you! I see you!

Nope I'm NEVER doing this again and if I so much as mention it (which I doubt) then shoot me. Quickly. And with no mercy.

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