I'll (not) drink to that

January is really quite a crappy month, isn’t it? (Sorry for use of the world crappy but it was, believe me, the least offensive word I could think of to describe how rubbish January makes me feel.)
The current cold snap (a term I find just about as annoying as the Credit Crunch) is adding to my feeling of woe - as is the permanent not-quite-a-full-on-cold lurgy which has been plaguing me one and off over the last few weeks.
My two children - gorgeous to their mother of course - have a permanent trail of snot dripping from their noses and no matter how often we switch on the ridiculously expensive home heating the temperature in our house remains on a par with the inside of our fridge (which has started to make an ominous ‘I’m going to break down’ type noise).
The aftermath of the Christmas overspend is hitting home - or more realistically hitting the doormat with the arrival of the January Credit Card Statement of Doom - and I have my self assessment Tax Return to complete by the end of the month. Which also requires paying a big bill. All I can think is how that lovely money could be so much better spent booking a wee break
To top all this off, I have decided that for the most part January will be a dry month.
Yes. Seriously.
Drinking is a no-no. Sitting down with a wee glass of white to watch the new series of Desperate Housewives - the one chink of sunlight in a dreary month - is a joy which must wait til February. Relaxing after hitting deadline with a drink and a natter with hubby is no more. The ‘mammy’s little helper’ of a wee snifter after the wains have gone to bed is gone.
This does not make me happy.
By now, I’m almost a week in and it has been, perhaps the longest week of my life. It’s not that I’m a heavy drinker - obviously I did abstain for nine whole months recently while I was gestating the baby who never sleeps. Usually I have a glass or two over the weekend, and maybe the odd glass during the week. The festive period has, however, ramped up the stakes a touch. With a local off-licence selling my favourite wine at a much reduced price and the memories last Christmas’s alcohol drought still fresh in my head I may have overdone it on one or two occasions.
Thankfully there was nothing as horrendous as the famous sliding down the stairs incident of Christmas 2008 (which ended in a trip to Casualty on a rather hungover Boxing Day) but by the toll of the bells on New Year’s Eve my body was calling out for a break.
So I stopped (on Sunday, after I’d polished off the bottle I opened on New Year’s Eve) and I’ve been dry as a freshly changed nappy ever since.
Sunday night was fine. I was strong. In fact the only real wobble I had was on Tuesday night when the aforementioned Desperate Housewives was on and I had had a tough day at the office.
I’m hoping that it will make me feel fresher, less ratty and improve my sleep. I’m also hoping it will help me not to pig out on monster packs of Doritoes while under the misguided influence thinking that any calories consumed while drunk don’t count.
Because in a double whammy borne out of a fit of what can only be described as madness at the weekend i decided to also start dieting (again).
Let me state this now, me without wine AND chocolate is very, very unpleasant indeed. My body has gone into a state of shock and I’m under no illusion that the stinking achiness I’ve developed has been a direct result of my sudden detox. (Please note: I know that it is probably just the not-quite-a-full-on-cold lurgy kicking up a gear but I I like to be over dramatic from time to time - just in case you hadn’t noticed.)
The danger with this full on achiness is that there is now a wee voice whispering in my ear that i’m sick and should treat myself and sure a wee curry washed down with an ice cold glass of vino would do the drink.
I am, thankfully, still without enough to realise that wee voice is the devil incarnate - but by the end of the month, who knows?
Usually I don’t make News Year’s Resolutions - because they are almost inevitably doomed to failure but I figure if I take it one month at a time we shall see where it goes.
If nothing else, it will save me a bit of money to go towards my credit card bills.