Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Something's happening

I can't fully explain how I feel today - a little floaty and out of sorts. As if something is going to happen.

I don't know what that something is, but there is something there in the air which is stealing my concentration and making me very unproductive.

Yesterday I had one of those busy but very fulfilling days at work - where I got to speak to and meet very inspirational women who really have reminded me just how strong we ladies can be. All the ladies I spoke to have had, or have, breast cancer and yet I spoke to them for several different stories.

Their stories have been floating around in my head and I can't shake them. They're awfully sad stories, but ultimately very hopeful and inspiring.

Perhaps that is how I feel at the moment? Inspired in many ways. Inspired to make some changes and claim some of me back. I don't think I've had this fire in my belly for a long time - not since I wrote Rainy Days and Tuesdays anyway.

I feel as if I'm gearing up to take things to the next level. I just don't know what that next level is. There is no clear defined goal - not like writing a book. I'm putting the losing weight on the back burner - not that I'm not going to try but I think I was trying too hard and battering myself stupid when it wasn't happening. I want to stop pausing my life for "when I lose weight" but I want to get healthy. Healthy for me means mind as well as body and with a history of depression at the moment I need to concentrate on the mind side of things.

But for the moment I'm floating between every kind of mood, sadness, hope, excitement, joy, overwhelming love and gratefulness, worry and anxiety.

It's going to be an interesting day.

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