A night in the life

Number of baby-gros harmed in the caring for a pukesome child = 4
Number of bottles prepared = 4
Number of bottles dropped on the floor (with no lid on) in a fit of exhaustion = 1
Number of squares of kitchen towel used to clean it up = 3000
Number of times I slipped and almost fell on my arse = 2
Number of swear words uttered over said incident = 5 (in a quick succession, a kind of feckity, feckity, arse pants, feck thing... only with the bad f-word instead...)
Number of nappies changed = 3
Number of times nose was assaulted by stinkiest smell ever (from baby, not DH...)= 1 (thankfully)
Number of consecutive hours sleep = 2
Number of bags under eyes = 3457853 (a whole luggage set, and some...)
Number of times baby smiled and seemed to say "sleep is for wimps" = 200.