Sometimes it's hard to be a woman

Today I had to endure a smear test. Now I know that such things are a very important and natural part of the joys of being a woman. It's not a pleasant part, but most of have been there every three to five years.
Except the smear test fairy seems to like to completely take the hand when it comes to me and my experiences. I've had four or five of the feckers and more times than not they come back inconclusive and such like.
So I went today, a feeling of interminable intrepidation in my heart but thought I'd just get it the hell over with. I assumed the position, which is not dignified at all and then the lovely nurse decided to have a several minute long (felt like a lot longer) discussion about the weather. All the time I was talking about the wind and the slush falling outside while all the while thinking "My fandango is on display, get on with it woman".
And then she did and it was sore.
And I thought that next time. I definitely coming back as a man.