Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I have a dream

Perhaps one of my strongest role models in my teenage years was Martin Luther King - because he had a dream.
Okay, his dream was different to mine. He didn't want to write a bestselling chick lit novel, I'm sure, but nonetheless he had faith in what he was doing and he kept at it.
I used to quote his speech to anyone who would listen - that dream, that faith, that determination was and still is inspiring.

So my dreams are on a smaller scale but they are important to me. Although I have come so far in this writing journey I still feel hopelessly frustrated at times. My books have not sold internationally. I still have no UK deal. I am three books down (which is frig all) and I feel a little stagnated.

I'm still writing, and writing the best books I can, but I do get a touch of "what's the point" from time to time. It's awfully self indulgent and definitely over dramatic but if an author can add a lump of drama now again then who can?

Anyway, my Note from the Universe arrived in my inbox this morning and said

Never compromise a dream, Claire.
Always compromise on how it will come true.
Maybe that is exactly what I have to do - to realise my limitations as a writer, the limitations of the publishing industry at the moment and accept the success I have had without always looking to step up to the next level.
My dream is still there... I'll just mess around with it a bit.

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