The other two posts today have been very positive - this one, not so much.
I put on half a pound last night. In the grand scheme of things it's not much (a medium sized poo some would suggest) but it marked the first week I didn't lose weight on my journey this time.
I knew it was going to happen. I had been a very bold girl indeed but it give still annoy me in a strange way,
The something happened which put it all into perspective. I went home, feeling sorry for myself and switched on my computer to write. Initially I was going to write some more of my new work in progress but I figured publication is looming for 'It's Got to Be Perfect' and I had the winning bid from the auction to write in along with a few other changes.
So I opened the file and started writing. Now, the remarkable thing is that the lady who won the auction, Tor Pickles, has just overcome cancer herself. She nominated that Camille's mother Hayley be the cameo star of the book and I emailed Hayley to ask if she would mind me adding Camille and her sister Lucia too.
I started writing, a scene with three gorgeous little flowergirls dancing around without a care in the world and I felt overwhelmed with emotion.
It was then I flicked onto Facebook to see a message from Hayley. Camille has gone into septic shock. Doctors are battling to save her life.
I cried - huge, body shaking sobs of tears for two hours. Every time I composed myself I thought of the hell Hayley and her husband were in and of the battle this gorgeous three year old girl was currently waging.
I googled septic shock - this prompted a fresh flurry of tears as the seriousness of the situation kicked in.
I struggled to sleep last night, waking periodically to creep down the stairs and check Facebook for further updates. I felt, and still feel, completely helpless. There is nothing I can do, but hope and pray.
Earlier this morning Hayley posted that Camille's stats are now good and she is now in ICU. She is still battling for her life.
Half a pound of weight on? Doesn't matter a ha'penny damn now, does it?
I'll still keep going - not least because I've vowed a £ for a lb to Camille's Appeal and because I want to be healthy but my reaction to a bad result on the scales is certainly in perspective. I'm sure Hayley would wish that was all she had to upset her last night.
So if you read this blog today, offer a prayer up for Camille but also remember that some times the things we think matter really don't.
Reading At The Edge - I'm delighted to return to Cavan on Tuesday, next week for At The Edge, run by Kate Ennals. Do come and join it, it's a terrific line up and there's an op...
23 hours ago