Monday, August 11, 2008

The way things are...

My husband and I (does that sound all posh and proper?) have had a nightmare of a year.
I can't begin to describe how hard things have been for us - and in particular for him for the last 12 months.
This time last year we heard the company he was working for was "restructuring" (make of that what you will) and he started to look for alternative employment.
He found some, albeit with a four hour commute each day, and settled in. Things were looking good and then in early November his father took seriously ill. We knew that David had been ill for a while but being that he was 81 and stubborn as a goat we kind of thought he would always be there.
It was a shock for us that my husband was called over to his bedside (in England) while I was left holding the fort and caring for the boy at home. It broke my heart more than words can say that I could not be with my husband and comfort him during his father's last days.
And it broke my heart more when he phoned me, in his matter of fact way, to tell me David had passed away.
I travelled over the following week for the funeral - where my husband gave the most impressive eulogy and made me proud beyond words.
We returned home and business being what it was, and the property market crashing, we soon realised the new dream job with the four hour commute was a nightmare. So my husband started looking for work again - taking time to grieve, I suppose in his stoic fashion, and to spend time with our son.
We didn't expect to wait long and things were getting hairy when 5 months down the line he still wasn't working. But he has surpassed himself. Three months ago he set up his own business which is growing nicely (I'm always afraid to say "huge success" for fear that it will fall down round our ears, but we are doing okay.) He works hard to provide for us.
But through all this, there have been times when I've felt like an observer on our life together. My mother in law died just before the two of us met. My husband never really showed that he was upset (I know he was, but he was very much of the stuff upper lip school of thought).
I suppose I just assumed he was the same with his dad died and his career hit a wall.
I know now he wasn't and a lot of that hurt, anger and grief is coming out now and it's up to me to be there and ride out the storm with him.
So I'm publicly promising him, here, that I'll do that. As the song says, Come What May.


Donna said...

This year seems to be full of bumps for just about everybody I know. I hope things keep falling into place for you.

Sending Hugs of support your way.

Penelope said...

I'm so sorry this stuff always has a habit of biting us in the arse just when we least expect it.
Hugs from over here too, anytime :o)

Fionnuala said...

What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger. Hubby and I are 24 year proof of that! Sending ya love and kisses. Fx

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