The fat and the thin of it

The fat and the thin of it.
Driving home from the school run the other day I listened in to a discussion on the Ray D’Arcy show on Today FM about footballer Robbie Keane’s wife Claudine.
Mrs Keane appeared on the Late Late Show.
The loyal listeners to Mr Darcy’s show had quite a lot to say about Mrs Keane and the fact she looked really rather amazing just 13 days after giving birth to her son – also called Robbie.
Apparently Pat Kenny was almost tripping over himself to tell her what a stunner she was and it caused much debate among the listeners to Today FM.
There were a fair number of callers (mostly men) who made all sorts of “Fair play to her comments” and funnily enough they quite enjoyed looking at her gorgeousness.
And there were an equal number of callers (mostly women) who seemed most put out. There were those put out because the baggage had managed not to put any weight on during pregnancy. And there were those put out because she had left her young baby to come and hit the celebrity circle when, really, they said – she should have been holed up at home with her baby attached to her boobs and her hair a complete mess.
The newspapers also went mad with the news. They commended her for looking so great so soon after giving birth and I admit as someone with bags the size of large suitcases under my eyes 12 weeks after going through the same experience I did feel a pang of jealousy.
I was lucky (and when I say lucky, I mean of course I threw up every day for nine months making it virtually impossible to put weight on) not to gain weight with my latest pregnancy.(The first was a different kettle of fish altogether. I’m still trying to lose the baby weight from that one…) .
I was back in my jeans, rather smugly, six days after my little lady was born but there wasn’t a hope in hell I was looking anything remotely approaching glamorous. If anyone looked close enough they would seen my saggy tummy was almost folded into the jeans and wobbled if I so much as breathed. If my hair was washed it was a bonus. My skin became as dry as the Sahara so that any attempt to put make up on ended in a weird orange blotchy skin fiasco and as for having the energy to shave my legs to slip into a skirt? You have got to be kidding me!
It didn’t really bother me though. I mean the orange blotchy skin bothered me – especially when I saw dodgy photos staring back at me – but that was it. Other than that I was, frankly, too busy to really care. If I made it out of my jammies before 2pm it was a rare and joyous occasion. But I think, perhaps because this baby is my second (and last!), I knew that the first weeks and months were going to be tough so I accepted it. And I also knew just how fast it goes (although, admittedly at 3 in the morning it doesn’t feel as if it going fast at all) I wanted to cherish every moment with her.
I couldn’t imagine getting all glammed up to go on the party circuit or have the nation’s media dissect my appearance in any great detail. I was happy enough with the “bring your own bottle” party happening in our nursery at 4am. The dress code was much more forgiving.
But that doesn’t mean I castigate Claudine Keane for heading out on the town in her gladrags. I may be slightly jealous of how she looks and I may be cursing the genetics which mean that no matter how hard I try there is no way on this earth I will look as good as she does – be it two weeks or two years, or two decades for that matter after giving birth.
But I don’t agree that her going on the ‘Late Late’ will have a flurry of hormonal new mothers weeping into their expressed breast milk. I don’t think Claudine Keane looking great will cause a large number of women to plunge into post natal depression because their bodies haven’t snapped back to shape. In fact, it’s not Claudine’s Keane’s fault (or design) that her body has been so kind to her. She is just a jammy cow.
Where the finger of blame (if there is blame to be apportioned) is at the media (and Ray D’arcy’s exempt from my criticism because I love him) to jump on this story and make it news. “Women has baby and isn’t big fat bloater shocker”. It’s not news.It shouldn’t merit headlines. If I’m honest I didn’t even know who Claudine Keane was before this and nor did I care.
So, if the media was a little more forgiving to women who had babies and realised that what some female celebrity weighs or doesn’t weigh isn’t actually news, we might all be happier.