Back to Life - Part One - Sofa Arrest

Hola Mes Amigoes*

Well I'm back from my holliers but it was so eventful (even if absolutely nothing happened) that I'm breaking it down in a few pieces.

The first thing I should say is that holidaying with a four year old is a whole new experience. Forget lounging all day reading, and then drinking into the wee hours. Forget sun, sea, sand and sex - we had sun, sea, sand and Sofa Arrest.

Our first day on holiday was a long one. We had to get up at 3am and drive to the airport, not arriving at our destination until 4pm (Spain Time) so 12 hours in all. The boy, by that stage was so hyped up on being in sunny Spain that he refused to sleep despite my plying him with Medised, buying a neck cushion for travelling and wrapping him in a wee blanket. He was hyper as a box of frogs.

So it was then 10pm (Spain time) before he went to sleep - which was officially a shocking 18 hours since he woke up. We hoped he would sleep til 12 the nesxt day or some other such miracle, but no, at 8am he was jumping around demanding the pool.

By lunch time however the travel, the heat and the lack of sleep had caught up with him and so arrived the rocketing temperature, the tantrums and the desire to sit on the sofa - only on the sofa - do not pass go, do not lounge in the sun, do not do anything other than watch fecking CBeebies in an airconditioned apartment. (Oh to pay ££££s to do the same thing in Spain as we would at home. I was a picture of joy).

So began a week of sofa arrest as Joseph was not only obsessed with lying on the sofa, I had to be there with him - not daddy - only mummy. So I sat, glued to a child for two days. We smiled some times - see picture - but by the end of day three in the Sofa Arrest House I was going slightly mad.I now know I could never do a summer in the Big Brother House... I would turn slightly mental(er) and need heavy duty medication by the end of the first week.

Thankfully by day four he had recovered enough to allow an hour or two at a time in the sun and we got to enjoy ourselves... but still we always ended up back on the sofa.

Yes, it was nice to get snuggles a plenty... but if you want to know the reason for my palour after a week on the Costa Blanca, there you go...

* Don't know if Hola Mes Amigoes is correct use of language. Have realised am hopelessly, embarrassingly shit at Spanish. Joseph was amusing though... we taught him to say Por Favour (excuse spelling) which he pronounced as "Four Five Four".